Bathroom Graffiti

I don't know about you, but one thing that I could never understand, is why people feel the need to write on the bathroom walls. Nothing boils my blood more than sitting down to grow a healthy tail and seeing "Here I sit so broken hearted, tried to shit, but only farted." What the fuck is that. This "Here I sit..." poem is something that has been done ever since the olden days (Like the 1970's). Maybe back in the 70's, bringing a permanent marker to the shitter was something your mom told you as you left for the day.

1970's kid: "Mom, I got to go, I'm late for school."

1970's mom: "Don't forget your rain slicker, and your black sharpie for defacing the walls of the school bathroom..."

I remember the first time I heard that stupid little bathroom poem. My father released this bit of wisdom to me at the wee age of 9, only when he told it to me, it went like this.

Here I sit, lonely hearted,
paid a nickel, only farted.

Now, when my dad was younger, back in the prehistoric 50's, apparently, you had to pay to use a public toilet, hence the "paid a nickel" reference. It seems that the United States has come a long way in the 100 some odd years since then. God Bless America...Anyway, If I had to pay a weeks salary (According to our crack research team here at Goodmeat.com, the average salary in 1950 was $.05) for the convenience to take a shit in an rotten shit-house, I would be plenty mad if all I got to show for it was a lame squeaker.

Anyways, my biggest gripe is, why do guys do this at all? I don't know about you, but one of the greatest joys in life for me is to sit on a public toilet and read the words "FUCK YOU HOMO" on the stall door. Also, why is it that only guys do this? I get confused because I would never dream of writing anything on the wall of a public restroom. For one thing, I am never at my wittiest while taking a dump. Apparently, no one is if the whole "broken hearted" poem is any proof. I guess I just need to remember to bring a pen.

Ok, enough bitching. The reason I decided to write this is because I actually saw something very cool and witty on one of the stalls here at work. It was so witty that I actually took a picture. I know, taking 
pictures in bathrooms is probably illegal, especially in Qatar, where I currently choose to relieve myself, but here it is anyway.

This is so cool, mostly because snakes are awesome.  I also now know that birds and mice are stupid, thanks to this clever bathroom vandalism.  Whether you are the early bird or the 2nd mouse, you are going to get screwed over anyway, so why try at all?